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| i swear may has been my stressful month ever.i had my ap bio exam and the asian pageant to deal with.Ap Exam:TOTALLY BOMBED IT! the multiple choice was ok. then i got to the essay part and my brain went KABOOM! err atleast i tried right?Asian Pageant:oh man juggling around with practices for this event was tiring! first i had practices with the fan dance. then later on, tina and i ended up coming up with another routine. yes, 2 routines to learn/choreograph. the last week of may, oh man it was pure rehearsal. didn't even go to class. PURE RUN TROUGHS,FINISHING ROUTINES, AND RUNNING BACK AND FORTH LEARNING EM WHILE REPAIRING DAMAGED PROPS AND OTHERS. AHHHHHHH i swear i was going to scream my head off. finally, the day of the show [May 30, 2008] i endedup learning the last 30secs of the hip hop routine that very day. as for the fan dance, we ended up changing a few counts. now during the show, APPARENTLY classes who werent invited showed up and took seats that they werent suppose to AND showed up WAYYY too early. right after the lunch bell we saw one class come in and we just ran our asses off to the backstage. Fan Dance: went really well. a few screw up but still very well. till the end where i was center front and dropped my fan >< oh wells i picked it back up gracefully? xDhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84Az_sFykH4Hip Hop: ANNOUNCED AS THE JABBAWOCKKEZ! but the DJ lost our CD -.- we're just lucky we had backup. minor mistakes. still a fun routine!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IGWFri8r2oabove all, a successful show. until next year :]May 31'O8:apparently this day was named "WHAT UP!?" hah damn it carlo! i thought i over slept a lil but i ended up getting to carlo's place in time. left for the Double Tree Hotel in Anaheim. WOW ITS SO NICE! we had a good view from our practice room too. and did i mention we got a SUITE too?! :P so imma just make this short. i ended up talking to the people that i never really had the chance to at one of their practices. it was pretty fun :] ended up learning bout 4/5 of the dance in one day. damn i really wannted to learn the transformer part but oh wells. i still had fun :] we had lunch, then more practicing and more fun. me having nappy time. carlo wearing my dress and heels. nick just being nick. everyone just having a really great time. making new friends. taking pictures. MORE FREE FOOD XD me and carlo fighting over strawberries. trying to make formations. wow i can't believe they make carlo go through all that. YOUR JUST LUCKY I WAS THERE BUDDY! and finally. performance time. DAMN IT CARLO MADE ME THE MAIN GIRL [ROXANNE] i hate you! a few minor mistakes during the performance but still a great show! afterwards we went back into the rooms to change. danggg everyone looking all flyyyyy. then we went downstairs. had dinner. danced. danggg battles going on. MONEY DANCE. [damn it carlo]. dang his lil sister can dance for her age :O everyone started leaving slowly. went back to hotel room. chilled. tried to make sara's boyfriend jealous. i swear he's going to hate me one day :P more pictures. hugs and goodbyes. still not getting up from the comfty bed. watching TV. left around 1am and got home bout 2am :P danggg i knocked out when i got home. well not really but yea. very good weekend :]June 1'O8:DANGG I WASTED MY DAY SLEEPING! NO QUESTIONS ASKED! but after my last nap everyones been getting on my bad side >;[THE NEGATIVES:why do i have so much thoughts in my head?! why am i stressing out so much?! why am i getting so frustrated so easily?! man imma be so happy when schools over. i just need someone around to talk to.. not just anyone but someone who really knows me inside and out and won't say shit when i end up breaking down. all i want is to be hugged real tight and know that i'm actually wanted around and not just a temporary friend. i'm done being lied to. and i'm done with people wanting me to change. why be my friend if you can't accept me for who i am? i try my best to keep those that i really care for happy. myself is not as important as those around me. if those around arent happy, then why should i be? things are just wayy too confusing and getting out of hand. lately, i've been getting so easily sick. ARG KLDJKALSJDLKASJDL. poop face. cant i just go a day without breaking down?! i mean i went a few weeks without it, but why does it always come back? maybe i always let people put shit down on me alot and i just take it. even though they bitch at me and i bitch back, it still hurts me especially if we're like really close friend. i feel like i have lost alot these past few weeks.. i've lost something that i really cherished cause i know i screwed up and that felt like the last piece i had.. but i don't deserve neither.. cause i didn't put enough effort in it before.. and now i'm seeing something different in a bad way bout this.. i swear taking out whats on my mind on a blog won't do anything.. i just need.. [fill in blank]To create a puzzle you must first take it apart, make a mess of the pieces, & try a few wrong fits. For only then can you be certain that the final product is exactly what it should be. | | |
| ZOMG! I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO FREEZE THE RIGHT WHY ON MY OWN! all this time i've been doing it the wrong wayy -___-  | | |
| He made me feel right. He took away all the pain I ever felt. From my ex, my dad, everyone. He took it away. And it didn't hurt anymore. And he made me believe he cared, he really loved me. He was there. He was always there. In the beginning, anyway. He just made me feel right, complete, sane. He made me believe loving him was okay. It was going to be okay. Years from now, loving him would still be the right thing. I can't really explain why I love him, I can't explain why I love anyone. It's not possible. But I can put as much of a reason to some of it as possible. It's hard not to love someone that takes away all the pain you've ever felt. | | |
| Sometimes it just takes patience for everything to happen. You won't get respect in just one day, you can't be in love with someone that you just met & you won't be able to forgive yourself in a second. I've learned that helping people is good, but helping someone too much won't let them grow. You grow by making mistakes, getting hurt, & learning from your regrets. Thoughts are there to help guide you to your decision. It's you that have to take that first step into the pathway of happiness. It's your doing that makes you who you are. Don't assume; get your fact straight. That is what messes a lot of people up. There's always the true story & reasoning behind everything. We are all different, but have one thing in common; we all want happiness. It is like we're all trying to fight for it, trying to get what we want & it make us forget the whole reason why we wanted it in the first place. Nobody said life is going to be easy; life is what you make of it. Change for the better; don't change for someone else. Change for yourself. Don't be selfish. Don't limit yourself from doing things just because you don't think you can make it through. Remember -- time isn't going to wait for you, so make the best of it.
May 4, 2OO8
Jonathan Zhu<3
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| Love & Friendship; it's not a choice.
You can either have both, or you lose both. | | |
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